Mental Health in Relationships: How to Support a Partner Struggling with Mental Health

Craig Field

1 day ago6 min read

Relationships can be a source of strength and comfort, especially when one partner is navigating mental health challenges. Supporting a loved one with anxiety, depression, PTSD, or other mental health conditions requires understanding, patience, and a commitment to open communication. But it also requires setting healthy boundaries and practising self-care to maintain a balanced, supportive relationship.

In this post, we’ll explore ways to support a partner struggling with mental health, focusing on effective communication, setting boundaries, and showing compassion.

1. Educate Yourself About Their Condition

One of the best ways to offer meaningful support is to understand what your partner is experiencing. Whether they’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or complex PTSD, gaining insight into their condition can provide context for their behaviours, emotions, and needs.

Learn the Basics: Familiarise yourself with general information about their condition. Understanding symptoms, triggers, and common treatment options can help you respond with empathy.
Ask Questions (Gently): Don’t hesitate to ask your partner about their experiences, but do so with sensitivity. Try, “Can you help me understand what this feels like for you?” or “How can I support you when you’re feeling overwhelmed?” This approach respects their perspective while strengthening your bond.
Understand Triggers: In a recent post, Understanding Emotional Triggers and How to Manage Them, we discussed the importance of recognising emotional triggers, especially for those with trauma or anxiety. Knowing your partner’s triggers can help you offer comfort or space when they need it most.

2. Practise Open, Non-Judgmental Communication

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and it’s especially critical when mental health challenges are present. Here are some ways to foster a supportive, open dialogue:

Listen Actively: When your partner is ready to talk, listen without interrupting or trying to “fix” the situation. Sometimes, they just need someone to hear and understand them.
Avoid Minimising Their Feelings: Refrain from saying things like “It’s not a big deal” or “Just be positive.” These phrases, though well-meaning, can invalidate their experience and make them feel misunderstood.
Use “I” Statements: Express your feelings with “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, “I feel concerned when I see you struggling” can open a gentle conversation without making them feel blamed or pressured.
Be Patient: Mental health recovery is not linear, and progress can take time. Let your partner know that you’re there for the journey, whatever it may look like.

3. Establish Healthy Boundaries

While supporting your partner, it’s essential to set boundaries that protect both of you. Boundaries help prevent burnout and maintain balance in the relationship.

Define Your Limits: Clarify what you can and cannot offer in terms of support. For example, while you may be willing to listen, it’s okay to set limits on topics that may overwhelm you or times when you need a break.
Encourage Professional Help: Remind your partner that while you’re there to support them, a mental health professional is trained to offer deeper guidance. Encouraging them to see a therapist or attend support groups can be an essential boundary that supports their growth and your own well-being.
Respect Personal Time: Recognise that both you and your partner need time to recharge individually. If you’re both working on your mental health, these boundaries ensure neither person becomes overly reliant on the other for emotional stability.

In The Importance of Boundaries in Mental Health, we discussed how crucial boundaries are for self-care. They play a similar role in relationships, allowing both partners to feel secure and respected.

4. Practise Self-Compassion and Patience

Supporting a partner with mental health challenges is not always easy, and it’s natural to feel frustrated or overwhelmed. Practising self-compassion and patience with yourself can help you manage these feelings.

Acknowledge Your Emotions: It’s okay to feel worried, stressed, or even frustrated. Recognise these emotions without guilt and consider journaling or speaking to a friend or therapist for support.
Allow Room for Mistakes: Relationships aren’t perfect, and you might occasionally say the wrong thing or overstep a boundary. What matters is acknowledging mistakes and making a sincere effort to improve.
Celebrate Small Wins: Notice moments of progress, however small, and celebrate them together. Whether it’s attending therapy or having a positive day, acknowledging these wins builds hope and reinforces your commitment to each other.

5. Practise Compassion and Empathy

Compassion is essential in relationships, especially when your partner is struggling. Showing empathy means trying to understand their experience without judgment or impatience.

Validate Their Experience: Statements like “I can see that this is really hard for you” or “I’m here for you” offer comfort and reassurance. Validation doesn’t require understanding every detail; it’s about acknowledging their feelings as real and significant.
Refrain from Taking It Personally: It’s easy to feel hurt if your partner withdraws or has trouble expressing affection. Remind yourself that these behaviours are often symptoms of their mental health condition and not a reflection of their feelings toward you.
Focus on Empathy, Not Sympathy: Sympathy can feel distant, while empathy shows shared connection and understanding. Phrasing like, “I can imagine how difficult this is,” can be more comforting than, “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

6. Take Care of Your Own Mental Health

Supporting someone through mental health struggles can be emotionally demanding, so prioritising your own mental health is crucial. Seeking personal support or attending therapy yourself can help you manage stress and find guidance on balancing your relationship.

Build Your Support System: Find friends, family members, or support groups to lean on when needed. Having a robust support system, as we discussed in Building a Mental Health Support System, can help both you and your partner feel more supported in your journeys.
Practice Self-Care Regularly: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Engaging in hobbies, exercising, meditating, or simply taking time for yourself can prevent burnout and refresh your energy.
Set Aside “Mental Health Days”: Both you and your partner may need days where mental health is prioritised over other obligations. These can be spent resting, recharging, or doing something you both enjoy, helping you reconnect without the usual pressures of daily life.

7. Encourage Growth and Independence

While supporting your partner is essential, it’s also important to encourage their own growth and independence. Empowering them to take steps toward their mental health goals fosters resilience and shows that you believe in their capacity for growth.

Support Their Coping Strategies: Encourage healthy coping techniques, such as mindfulness, journaling, or hobbies that bring them joy. As mentioned in posts like Mindfulness and Meditation for Mental Health, these practices can help manage symptoms and build resilience.
Celebrate Their Achievements: Acknowledge their achievements, no matter how small. Validating their efforts can boost their confidence and motivate further growth.
Respect Their Individual Journey: Recognise that everyone’s mental health journey is unique. Offering encouragement without pressure allows your partner to take steps that are right for them.

Building a Resilient Partnership

Navigating mental health in a relationship takes understanding, compassion, and intentional effort. By educating yourself, practising open communication, and respecting boundaries, you can create a safe, supportive space for your partner to heal and grow. Remember to nurture your own mental health, too, so that both you and your partner can find balance and resilience together.

Supporting someone with mental health challenges is a journey, but it’s also an opportunity to deepen your connection and strengthen your relationship. By facing these challenges together, you build a foundation of trust, understanding, and empathy that supports both you and your partner in life’s ups and downs.

A note about the author: Craig Field (me) is not a trained counsellor or therapist. I do try to offer advice based on my own personal experience; however, you should always talk to a medical practitioner or qualified therapist to come up with a tailored plan to help with your illness.

My knowledge comes from my own personal, lived experience and that of witnessing people close to me navigating the mental health system.

These blog posts are not intended to replace your doctor or psychologist.

Together we CAN make a difference!

If this post has brought up some difficult thoughts for you, please seek help from your doctor or one of the services listed below. In an emergency dial 000.

Lifeline 13 11 14

Beyond Blue 1300 224 636

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800

13YARN 13 92 76

Blue Knot Helpline 1300 657 380

First Nations Support Line 1800 959 500

Headspace 1800 650 890

Mens Helpline 1300 789 978

Standby support after suicide 1300 727 247

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